Holy Shit Balls: Heroin Farts

Holy shit,

I’ve been procrastinating like no other person has ever procrastinated before. I really want to do more with my time but I’m lazy like a heroin fart. It just occurred to me that I need something to focus on so that I’m not always feeling jittery from lackofaccomplishmentitis.

I’m preparing for my Google Analytics certification with a class that I’m taking at the University of California Irvine. I don’t feel confident that this class is preparing me well for the certification exam; So, I can definitely spend my time doing additional preparation. My tendency, however, is to make a resolution like this and then remain inactive. I don’t like this. As I write this, I’m trying to think of ways to motivate myself more. I don’t know the answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My first thought is to read a book about motivation or time management -thinking that the mere reading of it will give me the inspiration to follow through with my resolution, which I know is only part true. Regardless, it will not imbue in me the resolve to follow through with my resolution. Resolve. Resolution. Heroin. However, I may learn a clever trick that I can use to motivate myself.

But I’ve already so read many books and articles about motivation that I know all the tricks! And to rely on books to motivate me is a terrible use time, and time wasting is the very problem I’m trying to solve.

I will brainstorm ideas right now in front of your eyes for a way to motivate myself:

  • Use the mechanical approach a la The Magic of Thinking Big: Focus on moving my body into the tasks. If I need to study for my analytics exam, I should move my body into my chair and simply start the computer.
  • Drink caffeine before I do a task so that I am energized, circumventing any excuse for tiredness.
  • Stick a Post-It Note on my reminding me that things can and will get better for me if I make things better.

screw it, I’m rearranging my room 

Okay, nvm. Close one.

  • remind myself that I will die soon, and that, if I’m going to accomplish all the things that I want to, I’ll need to start right away
  • Keep focused by using a suggestive hypnosis app.
  • take Wellbutrin to help me focus. -BRB!
  • BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRB
  • okay we’re good
  • remind myself that I was once productive and that I can be once again once I start picking up the same habits that I had. What habits did I have? Oh. Well, for one. I was on Adderall. But I can still gain some of my productivity back if I tried. . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . I used to obsessively read about productivity all the time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . but I’m not going to do that as previously stated. what else?
  • take a cold shower everyday to snap to refresh me and clear my mind.

Okay, I just took a long break from writing this to play the drums. Now, I’m back. In the mean time, I signed up for coach.me -an app that tracks your progress when forming or breaking habits. I included a bunch of things in there that will help me stay motivated. one of them is writing a blog post each day. I think that if I write a blog post each day about getting better habits, I’ll get better habits. . . . . . . . . .

Anyways, I’m trying to stay motivated and I’m going to use coach.me to help me form new habits. Also, I want to use it study for my analytics exam. so yeah. great app and writing this post totally helped me.

peace byotch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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