Omg my sister and my dad were having this terrific fight and I know now that I cannot fight as well as they do. I just think that if I were to fight like that, I would lose. Actually, my dad was not a good fighter this time. Or any time. I would win against my dad. I think that what they were fighting about was stupid because my dad knew that he was wrong. It was that my sister had a bad experience with a dentist and she needs more surgery but he wanted to send her over to the exact same dentist. She didn’t want to go and that was the end of it according to her. Actually, she did want to go but she wanted to go to a different dentist. And that was the end of it according to her. My dad didn’t want to pay for a different dentist, especially the one that she wanted to go to. So they fought and fought and they agreed she would go to the new dentist- only because she finally told him what it costs and he was agreeable to that. I really think that he should’ve been okay with whatever dentist she wanted to go to because she needs special surgery. Surgery, that if done incorrectly, could leave her completely numb on one side of her face. This to me makes any dentist worthwhile worth the money. I say again (like a tongue twister) This makes any dentist worthwhile worth the money.
REady set. Here we go. OMG i’m currently going through I think episade 500 or something of the joe rogan podcast. I should really capitalize that Joe Rogan Podact. And I’m going through this podacast like a fiend. I just love the material. I’s with bill bur who is hilarious and they’re talking about all this incredible stuff like going to comdey shows and almost getting nbeat up by peopl. and the their hobbies. and did you know that Bill Burr actually Drums? He’s actually a drummer. I’m a drummer and I know he’s better thatn I am. . He pays covers of popular songs and I don’t even know how to play even one popular song. I wish I did but I don’t. anyway, Joe Rogan and he are talking about this and that and I’m gaining insight on a lot of things. especailly the life of a comic. I learned that, and this sems obvious as I say it, I learned that comics need to keep exploring different new things in order to gain perspective and have material that they can actually talk about. I sure would like to be a comic too. I think that would be a very fun job. I think I had the capacity to do comedy at one point. But I’m too seriuos now. Not seriuos but not funnty anymore and wow i’m thinking about typing right now as i type and I realize that I’ve come so far as a typist from when I started I hope this thing isn’t riddeled
Hello, there im marcus and you are currently reading my blog. I can tell you that you need to be patient with whatever is coming out of the page at your face aat this momnet because none of this is actually thought out and planned. I’m just brain dumping which is just writing without stopping. It is useful to bring your awareness to the present momnet and to really give the you the feeling of flow. I do it vbwecause it wakes me up from the stresses of the day makes me feel in tune with what is going on around me. in a weird way. it also helps me to tune everything out that is not having to do with thte typing and whoa . what ma i hearing? I’ think that I’m hearing a clock. yes I think it is a clock and I like clocks. clocks have a huge part to play in my life because i am obessed with tim emnagagement. I was thinking about getting a tattoo of a clock on my wrist . no not my wrist just on my arm or any other place where it could be big and noticeable. and wow I am still typing and I know that is a good thing because it is my goal 5o k33p 24i5int un5il 5h3 gbuzzer ggoes off on my phone and I know that it’s oing soon/ a memory comes to mind. I remember when I went into a job inveterview with a shirt on
oh my god I just can’t think of what to write swo i’m just going to keep typing for two minutes and then I’m going to see what omes out and then I will bbe able to seea bout my day and how I am doing so here we go holy shit i can type again really quickly i like that why the fuck am i hearing timferriss’ voice in my head that is annoying and yet ool at the same time hmmm what would timsay if he heard my voice in his head he’d be like why does this guy keep wanting to talk about this stupid thing that I can[‘t say outloud why the fuck is he still going on about this and then he would
Okay so hnow I’m going to continue braindumping and then now here it goes i’m hearing tim ferris’ voice again and wow this is cool and then it sucks and then did I hear someone say it sucks in my brain i have a monkey brain just like tim ferriss says I do and then I’m going to braindump and I;’m going to continue brandruping as I go to work on my adwords and then the whole point of braind umping is no editting and just continue to write and there it is again the thoughts of exactly what i don’t want to think of and it just keeps popping up and now I’m think about the biology class that I took in boise state when I was there and when I was in that class I got straight A;s and did very well in that class and I am proud of myself and there it is again the thought that I don’t wna to t think about and then there that thought is again about my biology class and this is cool I just like to keep writing and not stopping and then that didn’t even make sense but I don’t care this is fun and I like doing this and I can keep going and then I’m thik about my coworker at work who is a chull guyeeeee yes I said it he is chieilll and yet do i really think that about himm ahow can i even trust tlet’s not talk about that I just don’t even tknow what to write about ill just keep writing and then I’ll just keep writing and then I’ll just keep coming up with things to write about to write about and then hte words just keep coming up and I don’t even know what I’m writing about but I don’t care i just like that i’m writing something and oh look time is up.
You know what my secret is. You know I’m not that type of person. I honestly don’t know why I did it anymore or what came of it. Actually nothing came of it and that’s the good thing. It’s not like anyone’s going to find out. Except for you. I can trust you though. . . Or can I? hmmmmmm? JK. holy crap I must be sounding like a crazy paranoid third grader with trust issues. I’m not going to defend myself or even justify myself to you anymore. I know you’re not going to tell anyone. It would mean the end of my life and I know you care about me so I know you wouldn’t tell. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I feel guilty about it. I honestly do. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not going to confess. I don’t know how that would make anything better. . . but some part of me wants to confess and for someone to hold me accountable. But then again, I don’t know what they would hold me accountable for. Did I actually find any? No, I don’t think I did. actually I know I didn’t. I’m pretty sure that I found something similar though. I don’t know why I’m revisiting this right now. I shouldn’t even think about it or say anything. I mean, telling you in the first place was the worst thing I could’ve done. It really let the doors fly wide open on this thing. I’m just going to live on with my life. I’m getting over it everyday more and more. . . so I don’t know if that’s a good thing. but it feels like a good thing. things are going well for me and I don’t know why to ruin it for myself. except for justice. but what is proportional response? I didn’t break any laws. . . . . . so……I guess just nothing. . . but anyway life is good. I’m going to listen to tim ferriss now.
It’s night time. I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling good about things. The poster on my wall knows I’m really happy at night because that’s when I masturbate. Flattened punk rockers watch me pleasure myself. My penis is five inches long and one and a half inches in diameter.
The ceiling fan hurries me, tells me I MUST cool down now! Whirring whirring. I’m trying not to mind it as I write. I have too many ideas to write about to mind the ceiling fan. I think it could get my attention if it were whizzing through my ideas, chopping them up into individual words and pictures, making my ideas into bite-sized jello pieces instead of the massive undulating goop they are all born into.
Tomorrow is a good idea to write about. Tomorrow is bite-sized.
One day, that is tomorrow, I will go to work early and have an energy drink at my desk by the TV. The day will drag on for fifteen minutes at a time in between phone calls. I will peruse the posts on Facebook to pass the time. Baby animals sneezing. Rednecks shouting that Jesus loves guns. Gun enthusiasts will appear in my newsfeed right beside stories of mass shootings. Somebody will get married tomorrow for forever and somebody else will fall in love too, only with a bacon-wrapped avocado recipe. And then It’ll be four o’clock, at which time I will run-walk to my 2015 Scion xB and start a podcast interview before I start to drive home.
I’ll get home and scarf food for fifteen minutes and take Instagram pictures of my food while I’m doing it. A food fetishist will masturbate to my pictures. His penis is seven inches long and one inch in diameter.
The drums will welcome me with a shrug as I burp into my drum room. I will practice doubles on the snare at 360 bpm. I will do this for at least forty minutes before I have an existential crisis and reexamine my life as a musician. Then I will practice off-beat hi-hat splashes while soloing like a retarded chimpanzee. Or a normal chimpanzee that is drunk.
Seven o’clock will come which means it’s time that I will take a cold shower. WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!
Dinner. Slow-carb. Fifteen minutes or less.
Feed the cat. Two minutes.
Do the dishes. Fifteen minutes.
Scoop the cat litter. Two minutes
Read. Thirty minutes.
Work on business. Thirty minutes.
Organize. Ten minutes.
Write a Facebook post. Five minutes.
Write a blog post about bite-sized jello.
Masturbate. I will close the blinds so my neighbor doesn’t see me. His penis is 9 inches long and two and a half inches in diameter.
It’s sinking in that I lost ten pounds!!!!! holy shit. I don’t know what to do. I think that I need to celebrate but I don’t know how to celebrate. Usually I eat. But that kind of defeats the purpose. I really just want to cheat because I just need to. I think so. . . but what should I cheat on. . . . . .. . . . . . .. I can’t do this all the time. I just need to do this every ten pounds or so. What should I do?????????? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What should I do. It makes no sense. . . . . . . . I should eat something really good. and fattening. . . . . . I should eat like. something. . .. . .. . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . but what omg I should just eat taco bell and then that would satisfy me. . .. . . I really want to eat taco bell. or should I buy myself something else???????????????????????? Do I just think that should eat food because I’m hungry afj; afj; afj; afj; afj; . . . what is this post turning into . .. . . . . That’s it. I’m
I found out today that my coworker died over the weekend. Hearing that was so offensive to my expectations of the day that I could barely think about anything else. His death makes me think about what I’m doing with my own life and what I should be doing with it. I’m glad that things are progressing. But the only thing that I know is worth it is drumming. I know that part of my life will pay off. I don’t really have much else to look forward except being good at drumming. I just need to set myself up so that I can drum wherever I go. I need to have a house. A tiny house.
Okay so now we’re getting somewhere. I’ve done 100 blog posts now and I feel good about it. The other thing I feel good about is making my decision to get my master’s degree. I’m all set to start in the spring once I confirm that my residency is considered in-state versus out-of state. god I can’t even write honestly anymore. I’m really starting to get annoyed at myself. but, for the most part, I’m happy right now. I don’t ever know what to write about it. Is that bad? OKay so since i do this everyday I guess it could just be a daily update or the things that I think about. so this weekend was bad. I didnt keep to my habits this weekend like I wanted too. the big things were skipping drumming for two days in a row and not working on business. also. not reading kurt vonnegut. I justified skipping drumming, saying that I should take the time off from drumming to really think about where my life was going. I know that sounds like a valid reason. but I could’ve thought about my life after I drummed. So I’m not going to do that again. At least I came to some good realizations. I realized that I’m going to get my master’s degree no matter what in my life and that I’m going to start a business no matter what in my life also. I realized that getting my master’s degree would set me up to starting a business but starting a business right now would not help me get my master’s degree. so I decided that I’m going to get my master’s degree first.
I think I should be more worried than I am about my missing my habits this weekend. The biggest things I missed were going to the gym and drumming. Those are two big things. I don’t feel good about it. I want to read a book that will motivate me into staying on track with everything but I don’t have any books right now that can help me. I’m just looking for something short that I can read. If you have any suggestions. . . I’m really freaking surprised you found this blog.