Hello, you bouncing souls,
Welcome to another edition of Marcus Brain Dumps.
So, I guess no one really reads this blog. It’s okay, really. I just use it as a journal mostly. Although, I hope someone does read it. Regardless, it’s a really good way to think about different areas of my life. I don’t know why, but I’m getting depressed that no one reads this blog. And another part of me really doesn’t care. I guess I can’t make up my mind. Either that, or my feelings are fucking with me. Fuck I haven’t fucking cussed in a long fucking time and it feels great, even if I’m only doing it through this post. So I want to talk about this awkward moment that I had with this dude that I work with. His name, issssss . . . . I’m not going to reveal his name so fuck you. I love you. Let’s just say that I was trying to get out the conversation but also trying not to. I was trying to be as polite as I could when I was talking to him today outside of his car. He just kept going on about different places that he ate and kept talking about his girlfriend. I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to go home. (I’m going to interrupt myself here because I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated because I keep telling myself how I SHOULD feel or think, instead of just feeling or thinking honestly. I started doing this after I read Think and Grow Rich and The Magic of Thinking Big. I was convinced by those books that I should try to find the positive perspective in every situation and it has turned me into a fake, nicety spewing pussy machine. I haven’t trouble just thinking a thought without correcting myself and examining everything. I really just want to go a day without doing it. I guess I’m afraid that I’ll get negative and start becoming pessimistic. I hope not)