Random John Goodman

Hello children,

Wake up. You’re better than this.

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

Today I played my manager in a game of Magic: the Gathering. I lost. I don’t know whether that means I get a raise or if that means I’m demoted. Either way, I’m glad we played. I’m just going to keep typing the first thing that goes into my head. Not exactly the first thing, because I don’t want to freak you out or be put on any lists. The things in my head are depraved. I dream of genie and not in a good way. I wish I just had a clean mind and that I wasn’t a prisoner in sexual perversion land. I wish I was like Louis C.K. so that I could just make the most offensive jokes and still have people laugh at them. I wish I was stronger. I wish I was faster. I wish I were extraordinary. I wish wasn’t locked in a basement with a lunatic John Goodman waiting out the first wave of alien visitors destroying the Earth. I wish I hadn’t seen a lady call another lady a bitch when the second lady wouldn’t let the first lady in the underground shelter John Goodman built.

I have all these things that I think I should write about, but I don’t remember them when I get to the page. I’m going to try to remember to write something during the day when I think about it.



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