Not Working on Business

Hello you mad worlds,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I’m feeling guilty right now about not working on business today. I just really didn’t want to work on it today and I see that nothing bad happened. I’m not okay with it though. Nothing bad did happen but nothing good happened either. If I don’t keep working on business, nothing good will happen for me in terms of starting my own business. Before I go to sleep though, I will write down 10 more business ideas.

Marcus

Hello you cowboys and Indians,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I just saw man find his son and wife slaughtered on TV. Don’t worry it’s a movie. I can’t help think what I would do if I found my wife and son slaughtered. I don’t think I would cry at first. I think I would cry immediately and then call the cops in an emotional. I would feel better because I was doing the proper thing in reaction to my discovery. I would feel better while all through every step of the way until there was nothing left I could do. And then I would cry because I would feel like I should’ve been rewarded by their recovery for all my work. “I did the proper thing. Why aren’t things better?”

Marcus

Quit My Job, Bob

Hello you majestic magistrates,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

Today was the day I quit my freakin’ job. Finally, I’m free. I actually really liked that job though. It was way too easy for the amount of money I made. I watched tv all day and took breaks whenever I wanted. I made about 2500 per month, barely working. The people were cool and I met a lot of friends there. But fuck, it was the best version of a shitty thing . . . Thank Sheeva and Jesus and Buddha that I’m going back to school on Tuesday.  I can’t wait.

Marcus

Hello you vagabonds,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I guess I’ll just write about what’s making me mad. . . 

I started a conversation with my dad and stepmom by telling them that I started reading this book about long-term travel. I told them that that’s what I want to eventually do. My dad didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He actually told me that his employee did the same thing one summer by working on a farm to earn her stay. My stepmom said, “But she was working And she saved up” like she was implying that I wasn’t working or saving and that I couldn’t afford a trip like that. I told her that his employee actually earned her stay by working there. But she kept fighting me by saying, “no she worked!” My dad said “yeah for the plane ticket.” “Yeah, well you have to pay for the plane ticket.” 

Isn’t that obvious!? No, shit you have to pay for plane ticket! No shit! 

Anyway, I started out trying to tell them some of my hopes and goals and all my stepmom did was shoot me down and try to make me feel like I didn’t have capacity to save and buy a plane ticket. I have 6000 on hand that I’m saving for school right now for school. I know how to save. I’m just not spending it right now on a trip. I know I can save and I will have more money in the future to travel.

Preparing to Tell My Dad About College Ruined My Day

Hello Brain Dumpers,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

Today, was a shit sandwich that tasted like ice cream.  I woke up. Out of the office by 4:10. So far so good.  I called my brother when I got home to ask him his advice on talking to my dad about starting my Master’s program. I’m going to start taking prereqs at a junior college next week. I just haven’t told my dad that I’m doing so. It would be no big deal to tell any other dad, but my dad vacillates on between supportive and obstinately negative when it comes to big future plans. So, I need advice from my brother before speaking to him since my brother has a good enough relationship with him. My brother basically said to tell my dad that I plan to become financially independent in three years, adding that a Master’s degree would be the best way to get started. It took us an hour to get to that point. . . the only remaining issue was whether to tell him over lunch during his break next Wednesday or to tell him after dinner next Tuesday. I want to tell him during lunch because he’s usually in a good mood during work hours and I want to catch him in a good mood. I think I’m going to tell him at lunch, but I’m only going to mention that I’m taking a few classes this semester. I’m not sure that I’ll get into the Master’s program.

Then I went home and talked with my sister and about big movie shoot that she might be doing across the country. And then it was 7pm . . . I missed drum practice, which I’m mad about. I also missed the gym. Not good.

Marcus

 

Listening to Albums on Repeat

Hello you badass mind benders,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I was just reading Tools of Titans by Tim Ferris when I came upon a passage about meditative practices. 80% of the interviewees in the book has some sort of meditative practice like mindfulness exercises or focusing on breathing. These practices help them rejuvenate their minds, increase focus, and improve mood and concentration. That’s all fine and dandy for them. . . It’s really the other 20% of the interviewees that interest me, though. They all listen to the same tracks or albums over and over when doing work. I used to do this in college and I remember that it really helped me a lot when I needed to focus. I think I’m going to do this again. My album of choice is Dead Throne (instrumental) by The Devil Wears Prada. This album is chugging and melodic post-hardcore metal. I’m listening to it right now and I feel like I’m being bathed in wake-up juice.

Dagadagadadadaaaadagahhhhh. . .dagah!

Literally Mind Medicine

Hello you dashing dashers,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I’m really happy with my unintentional experiment. I took my night meds this morning by accident and my mind has been quiet and peaceful all day. I think that the effects of the previous night’s pills combined with the effects of the pills in question and that there was more in my system at once than usual. I’m taking an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer. I felt the effects of each today much more that usual. I heard fewer voices and I was in a much better mood all day.

Warm warm warm warm

Inoculate Yourself

Hello darkness, my old friend,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

^Do you think this opening line is too upbeat?^ Whatever. . . I’ll just write.

I came up with a new mantra today. I’m now repeating the sentence “inoculate yourself” in my head. This is a reminder to look for ways to become comfortable with the uncomfortable so that I can be comfortable if a truly uncomfortable situation arises. I hope you’re comfortable with that! Haaaaaaa! This almost exclusively applies to social situations. Whenever I feel squeemish or awkward or paranoid or uncomfortable, I just say “inoculate yourself” and embrace the discomfort, as it will inoculate me from further discomfort like it. I know that I will get stronger and better as I keep doing. I will have developed thick skined and will be able to sit through awkwardness for however long I need to. I will also just learn to feel more relaxed.

inoculate yourself

Laugh

Hello you,

Welcome to another episode of Marcus Brain Dumps.

I’m finding myself thinking about when I laugh at things and whether or not that’s appropriate or what that says about me.  I should just laugh when I feel like laughing. I used to laugh loudly and often and I used to be much more natural with my expressions in general. I guess I’m being a downer. I guess I’m thinking about what type of person I’m turning into and I don’t like it. I’m happy with my habits. I’m dissatisfied with my personality though. I feel like I talk too much all the time and all of it is whining or complaining. I feel like my family has a lot to do with it. They’re quite negative, especially my stepmom.