Hola Brain Dumpers, como esta Usted?
I’m writing this post because I have to. I really feel like I’m failing at studying and keeping myself disciplined. Today, I spent most of my study time on Facebook. I should’ve been reading and taking notes. The day ended unaccomplished. The only thing I really did right was to play the drums, which is good because that’s the most important thing I do. I really need to fucking study, though. Some part of me wonders if I have some sort of internet addiction. I don’t think I’ve ever thought that before since I’ve never really been negatively affected by the Internet to the extent that I was today. I found a good tool in the Self-Control app for Mac. It blocks distracting sites from 15 minutes to 24 hours. I really like this tool. I really think that I should delete Facebook from my phone again and see what that does. But I just added it back onto my phone and I was hankering so badly so Facebook that when I did eventually get on the computer, I would be on Facebook for too long. Yeah, I think I’ll just keep it on my phone. Okay, so I didn’t reach my goal today, but I’m going to finish reading chapter 5 in my book tomorrow. and then I’m going to finish taking notes on chapter five on Sunday. No exceptions. I really need to do this. I get out of my drum lesson at 12 pm tomorrow and I can start studying at 1 pm. This gives my 3 hours to finish reading before my family game night at 5 pm. I can do this and I will do this.
I really think this book that I’m reading might be fucking my mind up. I got used to thinking that I was above average in my discipline and above average in my organization. But this book is telling me that I should see that I’m nothing special. The author tells us to think this way so we don’t act entitled. But I like to think that I’m disciplined and organized. To view myself this way makes me want to defend my own identity and I become even more disciplined and organized. Maybe I’ll just see what he has to say and be wary about adopting any of his advice. I do like what he has to say about inspiratio, though.
I’m getting in the bad habit of writing these post and coming to realizations about how I need to change, but then not changing. I need to take these realizations seriously. I am not my father.