Brain Dumper, ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude, tomorrow. It begins tomorrow. I’m going to finally workout for the first time in 2930302958 years. I’m going to walk 3 miles after work and it’s going to be awesome. I really know that I can do it and I’m stoked because I’ll be back on my diet tomorrow too and that will mean that I’ll be getting skinny! Fruck yeh. It’s going to be hot tomorrow so I better get myself mentally prepared. I’m going to sweat and I’m going to freaking kill it tomorrow. I can’t wait. I’m going to fureacking kill it.

Schedule tomorrow:

  1. 9am to 2pm – work
  2. 2:30pm to 3:30pm – walk 3 miles
  3. 4 pm to 4:30pm – play rudiments
  4. 5pm go to mom’s house and hang out and have dinner
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Flurry Blurry Roiling Boiling

Howdy, Brain Dumpers,

I’m just gonna ramble.

I’m really trying to lose weight but I’m not really trying. I know that I need to find something other than eating when I’m bored or stressed out but I don’t know exactly what that is. I want to read instead of eating but I don’t know if I have the willpower to read. And also, I don’t know if I’ll always have a book available. I need to really take inventory of my current willpower and to see if I can really set myself up for success. But I don’t know if I can. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I know that I can.  I just don’t know how easy it will be. It is simple but not easy. I need to just eat one meal per day and have that meal be a can of beans. I did it last year and I lost 30 pounds. I can do it! And it can’t wait till next year. I might lose motivation if I wait till next year. I need to lose 35 pounds this year. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I feel like I want to eat right now because eating consoles me when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I also eat when I feel like I feel like I can’t do something, especially lose weight. But I can do it! I just need to remember my positive self-talk and adjust my strategy. I can definitely do it. It’s going to be hard but I can psych myself out by remembering that it’s just like passing a class. I’ve passed difficult classes by encouraging myself to study and I can encourage myself to lose weight and translate my motivation into actionable habits. I need to search for reasons why I can do it. Not reasons why I can’t. Now I feel like I want to eat because I’m proud of myself for coming to this realization. I tend to eat when I’m proud of myself because I feel like rewarding myself I think the real reward would be to be skinny. I can do it. I feel like I need to exercise as well. I think that if I walk 3 miles after work each day that I can significantly reduce my weight. Right now I want to eat again because I’m thinking about making that resolution. But I can’t. I can’t have that response to being proud of myself. I need to find some other way of rewarding myself. I think I should buy Magic: the Gathering cards instead. Maybe I can reward myself with money. How about, for each day that I stick to my diet, I get 5 bucks.

Activation Triggers

Hola, Brain Dumpers,

I’m reading Your Best Year ever and I’ve come across a section that talks about contingencies.  A contingency is defined as “a provision for an unforeseen event or circumstance.” In the context of the book, contingencies are planned responses to moments of weak willpower.

I’m trying to lose 35 pounds by the end of this year. I know that I can do it, but I have trouble staying disciplined with my diet. The major problem is that I end up drinking wine at the end of the day or that I eat before my “eat window.” So, I need some contingencies when hungry rears its fuggly head. Right now, I’m practicing intermittent fasting and only eat one meal per day -at least that’s the plan. I know that I tend to eat when I’m bored so I need to have a plan to alleviate my boredom. I’m going to try to read instead of eating.

 

Short post,

The End

Peace

Late

Ciao

Antilogue

Dear Brain Dumpers,

I’m distracted right now because I’m thinking about how much my sister sucks. I shared a video of my recent drum performance and she said that I was rushing. I know my drumming needed work but rushing was not the problem. I told her that. If anything, the rest of the musicians were lagging because they use me as a reference for timing. Anyway, we both knew that I could’ve played better but we didn’t agree on what was wrong. She offered her opinion and I disagreed with her. When I disagreed with her she became very defensive and said, “OKAY, I’m just giving you my opinion,” as if I was attacking her by not agreeing with her. We had a very calm tone in the conversation before that statement and she escalated it into an argumentative tone when she said it. I didn’t respond, but I was reminded that she is very forceful with her opinions and can’t handle disagreement calmly. I just shrunk for the rest of the night and we devolved into our homeostasis of insulation from one another. I don’t know how to resolve this issue we have. My mom has the same issue with her, i.e., she doesn’t know how to deal with her opinion-forcing. My mom has resorted to limiting her time with my sister. I think I will do the same thing.

I already use her as an antilogue to teach myself how not to be.

Marcus